How is it that advertisements and salespeople are able to get you to buy things? How is it that you buy into a relationship because of an initial feeling, and then eventually end the relationship? And actually do this over and over again? The reason you’re able to be manipulated by advertisements, and the reason you repeat the same relationship patterns again and again, is the same.
The reason is feelings and emotions. If you are directed by feelings and emotions – you can be manipulated – but you’re actually manipulating yourself, which is more obvious in the example of relationships. The advertisement depicts a fashionable person getting sex and popularity – so you buy the clothes because you want sex and popularity, and imagine in your mind, what it would be like to be wearing those clothes and having people look at you and admire you — the clothes make you ‘feel good’, and the feeling is based on your own desire to be popular and get sex. So, the advertisement manipulates you based on your own desire and feelings you actually generate within yourself. The advertisements triggers what already exists in you – so, it’s actually you manipulating you.
The same with relationships – you want to be with the popular guy or girl, and imagine what it would be like to be a couple, with people admiring you and envying you as a beautiful, sexy couple. It makes you feel good, it makes you feel excited. So you do whatever you can to get into that relationship. It’s fun at first, and you have all kinds of nice feelings of excitement, lust, love, being proud of yourself for having such a beautiful, sexy partner. But then you start to get to know each other more, start to get annoyed with the things your partner does, start to disagree about your interests and preferences and the way you each want to use your time – and eventually you stop liking the person altogether and end the relationship. Just as with the clothing you bought – often you’ll buy ‘on impulse’ because you like the feeling, the idea of the clothing, because of what you imagined it would be like to wear it, but then you wear it only a couple of times and eventually get rid of it.
In each example you have actually manipulated yourself through feelings and emotions and imagination – ideas and projections about ‘what it would be like’ — you look only at the experience, the desired experience, and then your ‘decision’ is based on the feeling you get when you imagine ‘the experience’. So, within this are you actually yourself making a decision? No. Because your feelings, an energetic experience you generate in yourself, is making the decision for you, on your behalf.
So, if we are going to change the world and stop being consumer slaves to corporations that make a profit off our acceptance of the system, how do we actually change? How must we actually change? We must stop being directed by feelings and emotions. How do we design a system based on common sense, based on what is best for all? We have to stop being directed by feelings and emotions and imagination – stop being directed by experiences in our minds generated through ideas and desires an fantasies — so we can actually look with clarity and understanding, directly at what is here. As long as we are directed by feelings and emotions, as long as energetic experiences within ourselves make our decisions for us, we will not get anywhere – because we will remain slaves able to be manipulated through our own accepted and allowed feelings and emotions.
How do we design effective relationships that last? How do we walk as equals with a partner in actual support of each other? Obviously we must within relationships also stop being directed by feelings and emotions, fantasies, desires and imagination based on ideas and beliefs and memories — because otherwise we will keep going into relationships based on a feeling, an experience — which exists in our own mind, and is not based on actually knowing the other person — not even based on actually knowing ourselves firstly – but is merely a self-programmed energetic experience that we allow to direct us.
So, how do we stop being directed by feelings and emotions? Well, we can’t use feelings to change ourselves — we have to get to the bottom of our feelings — we have to in fact understand how we are creating our feelings and emotions, we have to in fact understand what ideas, definitions, beliefs, memories, form the foundation of each feeling, fantasy, emotion, desire. Because if we merely stay on the surface, in the realm of the ‘experience’ which is the whole package of thoughts, feelings, and emotions — we are not working with what is really going on – we are working with only the picture, only the end-result of the underlying programming.
We have to get at the actual underlying self programming – the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind self-programming — because, if we don’t, and we don’t understand how we are creating our feelings and emotions and thoughts – we remain ‘less than’ our minds — our minds have the power to direct us – and thus we are able to be directed, controlled, and manipulated because we are not standing as the directing principle of ourselves.
The underlying programming is simply information – accepted and allowed definitions, ideas, beliefs – it is words. Thus, the most effective way to work with this programming is through writing.
This is why at Desteni we work extensively with developing effective, self honest, self writing – we can get to the real program at work within ourselves, so we can see directly, in words we place in front of our very eyes on paper or on the computer screen, the truth of who we are accepting and allowing ourselves to be as the definitions, the words we are living as ourselves – the words which form the foundation of all our conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind programming.
In this, we are able to then decide what we are willing to accept and allow in ourselves – we are able to redefine who we are through redefining the words we are living. In this, we are re-claiming our directive principle – we are becoming the directing principle of ourselves – because we are deciding who we are, in self honest, self awareness – there is no ‘unseen’ force at work – because we become the force of our own self creation through standing equal and one with our own mind through actually understanding our own mind.